M/OTHER: a weekend of fearless conversation

The event series M/OTHER features a line-up of writers, thinkers and creators. They'll be leading frank discussions on the joy, exhaustion, creativity, fury, and strength that mothers derive from their roles. While also interrogating the word ‘mother’ itself. Read the interview with organisers Bec Kavanagh (pictured below left) and Jamila Khodja (pictured below right) about the event and why they created it.

What is M/OTHER?

Bec:

M/OTHER is a weekend of fearless conversation. Over three days, artists will explore questions of motherhood, creativity, gender roles, bodies, mental health and families. We’ll be asking hard questions about social and economic supports and challenges. And interrogating the contemporary parenting experience, the role and portrayal of ‘the mother’ in our culture, as well as the question of whether to mother at all.

Jamila:

M/OTHER is going to be a hive of activity across the weekend. We'll have panels, an extraordinary gala, a series of soapbox monologues, and a life drawing class. We’ve also got a soundtrack provided by the beautiful Claire Tonti.

Why were you drawn to creating M/OTHER?

Jamila:

We are mothers who were drawn together by sharing our experiences of motherhood with each other. Our friendship gave us support in the workplace and outside of it. These conversations grew into a natural collaboration with the desire to draw our experiences as mothers directly into our work. We wanted to bring the conversations we’d had with so many other mothers to the fore, and centre mothers in the room. 

Who will speak at M/OTHER?

Bec:

We’re thrilled with the range of extraordinary artists and thinkers who have so willingly agreed to take part in the series. Our international artists include Rachel Yoder, Esther Freud and Dr Pragya Agarwal. Our beloved local writers includeTony Birch, Laura McPhee Browne and Monica Dux. The programme is full of people who mother (or don’t), examining the role of the maternal in their lives and in their work.

Jamila:

Senator Jana Stewart will speak to the political and structural challenges facing mothers in ‘The Mother of All Questions’. Karinda Taylor will bring a First Nations healthcare perspective to questions around economic and systemic issues faced by mothers in ‘Labour of Love’. And we close the series with ‘Screen Queens’, an exploration of mums on film with the wonderful Kate Box, Jemmason Power and Leticiá Caceres.

What has been the challenging part of putting M/OTHER together?

Bec:

As working mothers, it has been a double-edged sword working on a series like this one. On the one hand, we’ve been so lucky to be able to bring our whole selves to the table, and to meet our artists, many of whom are also working mothers, with an empathy borne of lived experience. On the other hand, three days (despite being jam-packed) is still not enough to capture all of the experiences of motherhood, and the choices, sacrifices, challenges and joys of the mother. We could programme a year-long event and still barely scratch the surface.

What does being a mother mean to you?

Bec:

Sleepless nights and a lot of detailed conversations about Minecraft right now! But it also means a kid who still wants to snuggle up next to me, and being surrounded by incredible, huge-hearted women who I am so thankful for.

Jamila:

It can mean different things on different days. I can be so full of joy and gratitude for this tiny person I made, or I can be wondering what happened to myself. I’m learning to find community in motherhood and remind myself that my personal ambitions can be a valuable part of my motherhood.

What has been surprising about being a mother?

Jamila:

I have been surprised by the almost instinctive need to protect some part of myself and to not give myself over entirely to the role of mother. Finding space for (and discovering) multiple facets of myself has been a surprise and a joy, and makes me a better parent. 

Bec:

I've been surprised by my capacity to keep going. As a single parent, on days when I can barely open my eyes, I’m surprised to find a reserve of energy to pack lunches and answer endless questions. I’m surprised by the willingness of mums to give when they have so little of themselves. And the friendships that come from shared vulnerability. 

What do you think about the way society views mothers?

Bec:

This series is a response to how we’ve experienced the world as mothers. For all of the joys, there are so many barriers and assumptions made about women and motherhood. It feels like it’s a no win. If you’re not a mother you have to justify why not. And if you are, you’re expected to conform to these narrow ideals of the ‘good mother’ which are impossible to meet, financially and intellectually unsustainable, and mentally crippling. We also want to consider the burden of gender expectations on motherhood, both in terms of domestic labour and also the way that it excludes non-binary parents. This is something Roz Bellamy speaks to so beautifully in their digital soapbox monologue.

Who are you most looking forward to hearing speak at M/OTHER? 

Jamila:

We’re looking forward to every brilliant brain and heart on this programme – it's so full of love and generosity. But even more, we’re looking forward to hearing from the mums in the room – this space is for them.

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Join the conversation at the Wheeler Centre in Melbourne from 3 to 5 March 2023. Tickets available here.

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